A Much Needed Hell

What if the world around us was not real but a stimulus, an escape from something much, much worse? In the book More Than This by Patrick Ness, the protagonist Seth commits suicide after losing his very last grip on life, his lover and friend Gudmund. But when Seth hits his head on a rock in the ocean, in a very specific spot right behind his ear, he wakes up in a state of utter exhaustion, laying on cement and naked except for some strange metallic bandages on his stomach. As Seth slowly gains conscience, he realizes that he is in some strange demolished version of the town he grew up in, but he is also utterly alone. He jumps to the conclusion that he is in his own domain of hell. Seth slowly starts to accumulate supplies and gain back his strength while trying to piece together where he is and how he got there. Whenever he sleeps, he is flooded with intense memories of his past life that constantly haunt him. One day he runs into a teenage girl Regine, and a young boy  Tomasz, who are living and breathing in the same hellish reality as Seth. This is a shock that he has barely any time to take in though, as they are being chased by a not-quite-human thing chasing them in a van that, according to Regine, will not hesitate to kill them. As the three slowly piece together where they are, what they have in common, and where everything and everyone went, Seth's values and morales mature and shape him into someone he never thought he could be, an adult.

When Seth was in a secret relationship with his friend, he never looked back at the full picture and realized how unbalanced their relationship was, and how close he was to everything falling apart. Seth put aside everything else and focused solely on Gudmund. Even when Seth was pushed to the very breaking point by his family and friends, he held on to Gudmund without ever looking down and checking whether or not he had something to catch him if he fell. When Seth found out that Gudmund had betrayed their relationship and trust by sleeping with Monica, Seth's friend, it was like a small support being taken out of a tower that was already crumbling down. when two people get into such an intense relationship that the relationship itself becomes more important than personal values and self respect, one slight imbalance can ruin the lives of the people in that relationship. When an escaped murderer showed up at the back door of eight-year-old Seth and his little brother Owen, who were home alone and told not to let anyone in, Seth was put into a terrifying situation that he could only lose in. The convict asked Seth to let him in kindly, and then when he refused began threatening to kill both Seth and Owen if he didn't let him in. Paralyzed with fear, Seth let the man in and was given choice of who the man would take with him, Owen or Seth. As Seth later realizes with horror that he had chosen Owen, possibly getting him killed, another realization also strikes him.

“'I thought,' Seth says, not able to meet their eyes. 'I thought if I said he should take Owen, I’d be able to raise the alarm better. I’d be able to explain what happened faster and they could go after the guy and catch him. Owen was only four. He barely had any language at all, and I thought . . .' He turns back to the tombstone. 'Actually, I don’t know what I thought. I don’t even know if that’s true or if it’s a story I told myself.'

'But it was impossible,' Tomasz says. 'You were a boy. You were little boy. How can you choose this?'

'I was old enough to know what I was doing,' Seth says. 'And the truth is' – he stops, having to swallow it away –'the truth is, I was afraid. Afraid of what would happen to me if I went, and I said . . .'

He stops.

Tomasz steps forward. 'If he asks you now, this man.'

'What?' Seth says.

'If this man, he comes into your kitchen now, and he asks you this question again. He says to you, I will take you or your brother and you will choose. What do you say?'

Seth shakes his head, confused. 'What are you –?'

'You are asked now,' Tomasz insists. 'You are asked right now who to take, you or your brother. What do you say?'

Seth frowns. 'That’s not the same –'

'What do you say?'

'I say take me, of course!'

Tomasz leans back, satisfied. 'Of course you do. Because you are man now. This is what a grown-up person does. You were not man then. You were boy.'

When Seth is left to his own devices, without the constant stress of school and family pushing down on him, he is able to experience for the first time how he can grow without being weighted down by others. 

Though what happens to Seth is Science Fiction, Teens struggling with stress and bad relationships can relate to the changes he goes through. Sometimes, for a person to change and grow, they need a break from their lives and have some difference. And sometimes the change you go through is the difference between living for someone or dying for them.